ok i think this is an awesome start! the only thing i would watch is making sure to put commas where they belong and also it said "just barely" once. so you might want to change that... the story really drew you in so i thought that was good. great job!
ok i think this is an awesome start! the only thing i would watch is making sure to put commas where they belong and also it said "just barely" once. so you might want to change that... the story really drew you in so i thought that was good. great job!
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